Bathroom Chronicles- Fear and Safety

I just watched this video from this page Addicting Info-Bible Waving Woman Rants in Target

This is my facebook shared response-

"Ugh come on, if you don't like it, don't shop there, it only means there will be more stuff for me when in the past people like you would snatch something up in front of me claiming it yours.You're making a big ass out of yourself, you don't have to spend money there no, but by walking in and around the store, with your children (who MAY have to use the bathroom BTW) not only are you showing you can't do anything by yourself, but you have to drag your own kids into it, what the actual fuck. 
Stay out of the store with your hate and if anyone feels ashamed to use a goddamn bathroom, let me know, I'll go with you. I used to feel ashamed for having IBS which is entirely different of course, but no one should be ashamed for being who you are! 
God, this woman needs a life and needs to stay out my Target. We are already aware of any sickos in the world, but if you are that worried about it, why not go in the bathroom with your child and wait, that's the problem with too many people, they never have time for anything and don't want to do anything anymore, so if you'll go with your kid who may or may not get hurt, I'll go with someone who you have made to feel ashamed of who they are so that they won't get hurt as well."

At the bottom of this post I state why I'll go with you.

Ok, we get it, you don't want to shop there, and you don't want your kids there either, but you brought them in the store and you have 12 kids and some in the video look to be under 10, which if you are a parent or helped raise a kid by being a friend/aunt/uncle whatever, you damn well know that any child may have to spring the comment "I have to go potty".  What are you going to do? Tell them to pee outside instead or in the store? 

Yes, we know there are many sickos in this world and there have been cases already like this happening, but it was happening before, and not just in the woman's restroom, I've read many cases of where a little boy has been raped or molested in the men's bathroom in, say a McDonald's Crime Feed- Homeless man arrested alleged sexual assault 6 year old boy McDonalds Bathroom

Now that was from last year in 2015.

This case from yet another McDonald's in 2011- Man jailed for raping boy of Seven on a McDonald's Toilet

Or this case in a department store in 2012- Two Men arrested after raping boy of 14 in department store bathroom 
  
There are many cases just the same, and the fact that you are only aware NOW because a transgender woman wants to use the woman's bathroom to feel safer from these men in the men's restroom. If you only care about your girls, why have you not cared about your boys??? 

I remember the McDonald's incident, and wonder why this woman doesn't remember it either? I am totally NOT trying to be mean because I am trying to lose weight myself, but if she is boycotting Target, will she be doing the same for McDonald's? I know the food is cheap and all your 12 kids can eat there cheaply, but they are known for their bad fattening foods, I stopped eating there two years ago and when I smell McDonald's now it makes me sick to the stomach. This woman has alot of boys too and I worry for them.

I am not saying this only happens in Men's bathrooms as there are alot of good men out there.

This also happens in woman's bathrooms as well! My personal confession, when I was 5 years old in Public School in Brevard, NC, in the year 1994 or 1995, my teacher had a way about her and would choose a pet student to gloat on and choose a student to harm. I was the harmed student. If something upset her, she told me to go to the bathroom, where she would beat me, she wouldn't molest me, but she would throw me against the wall, slap me, punch me, and then some. I hated school, I would hide in the bathroom stall or hide outside near the trees during recess and no one would look for me. I was afraid to tell my parents because she would tell me each and every time if I told them, she would kill my parents and then me. Because of her I started to have a stutter problem and she put me down alot. I was 5 and did not know any better. When my parents saw bruises and scars, I would tell them it was during recess. 

When we moved 3-4 years later to Linville, NC, my new public school there was so nice to me and I felt safe enough and told my parents what happened who told my principal, who wanted to start an investigation. I found out that she did it to a few more students too and that one of them told their parents and told the authorities and she was in jail or going to court for child abuse. I felt safe and I started doing well in school and my teachers remarked on how smart I was and I couldn't believe how different it was. I do admit, I regretted not telling my parents because I was afraid, when you are 5 years old, a child doesn't know what to do in those situations.

So anyways, as one person literally abused in public school woman's bathroom, I will go to the bathroom with you so you don't have to fear the same torture.

Anxiety-Remembering all the Pain and How to Move Forward

I really don't want it to seem like my posts are bad or even saddening.

But as I sit here thinking what to write and it's getting late, all I can think about are all the things that made me upset or sad.

I wish there was some way I can take those memories out of my head so I can attempt to replace them with new things and new experiences.

I'm sitting here, remembering fights, and getting upset over them. Sitting here remembering people who hurt me and all I can think of is anger and bitterness. I hate that part about me, no matter how much I try to accept it.

I try to remember the good, but all I can think of are disappointments.

Some of the things that happened had to happen sooner or later, and some of those of things had to happen for fear of going insane.

I just really hate it being quiet or at night when I my mind goes blank and they just pop in there. Like, they didn't serve me any good or taught me a lesson that I very well remember, why does my brain want me to relive it in my head? To get me depressed?

I am trying to erase things and understand that some things are just how it supposed to be.

One thing that bugs me more than my own memories and for some reason it likes to stick there most like a sore thumb. I wonder if others memories of me are good and why some things didn't work out with them when I thought things were fine? Why were they so cruel or what did I do to make them lash out.

If there is someone I am bitter about, does that mean someone else is bitter about me? While I may think they may be crazy, they may think me a psychopath?

I know this is toxic thinking and I am trying to work around it, I always keep music on all the time just so I don't drown in my thoughts. 

How does one get past it? I know it's my anxiety playing here and its so annoying cause some things have been years ago and some have been months to weeks ago. I prefer to be in the present, but my brain keeps dragging me back to the past like I HAVE to remember.

I want to keep moving forward but I want to take the memory out of my head like they do in Harry Potter.

I know I've seen posts online that other talk of what I am writing about right now, just how do you get past it?

What do you do to help yourself? Any advice you can give me or to others that may have the same question?

Included in this blog are things I look at to remember to let go.

Brakes Failing Dream

So I've been struggling with anxiety for years now.

I had a dream this morning and I was in a town I didn't know with my husband. We were staying the night and exploring.

Anyways, Colin tells me to wait in the truck while he checks our room over.
He gets pulled away for being a big strong man and is asked to help someone lift something with them. He tells me to relax and he'll be right back.

Now, I'm in the truck, he has backed up into the spot and the parking lot has a view of the whole city (whatever city I am in) and the truck starts sliding.

Now my truck has no parking gear in real life, I use my emergency brake and a parking block.

But my truck is sliding sideways into the railing at the parking lot where there is a hill. I call Colin and I am begging for him to come back, that we HAD to go. He told me to get in the drivers seat and move the truck myself, because he is a few blocks away now carrying something, but told me if I want I could drive over to him if I felt safer.

Now in real life again, I don't drive. I unfortunately have vertigo and a chiari malformation that make me dizzy and sometimes fall over or lose balance. I haven't really told many this and people always tell me that I should get my license, I mean I know how to drive, but with my vertigo I have a depth perception and slowness. I like to drive, but my anxiety tells me it is not safe, which in turn is true. I just have to work on it, so it kind of hurts when people lecture me about getting my license.

Anyways, in the dream I get in the driver's seat and attempt to go find Colin, all the while fighting the vehicle to stop turning sideways.

As I start driving, I realize I am in downtown with alot of one ways and no clue where I am. And now my brakes have stopped working. I call Colin and ask him what I should do, as it's going fast and I was scared. He doesn't answer, so I throw the truck into 1st gear and hope for the best. I start crawling again and looking for him. I don't find him but the check engine light is blazing bright and all the sudden I'm no longer in the driver seat, I am in the backseat and the truck is still moving and I'm having to fight myself to get back up front.

After that I wake up. I was done with my morning nap and decided I did not want to go back to sleep.

Now I went on my phone and screen shot what brakes failing meant.

It has to play on my anxiety and the fact that I can't find Colin means I am alone. And my truck has been giving me issues for years, I even have a gofundme to help me attempt to get another vehicle.

A few days ago it has been a year and two days since my largest issue with my truck, where my anxiety went into a panic attack phase and thus ended up changing my life over it, I was still in panic mode and moved my whole life to a town and state I don't even know because I had to get away, I had plans to stay in my place and little town, but within a month after I already had a contract with another landlord in another state.

Anyways, I had to write about this, because many times I always hear how anxiety is not a mental illness, and that its just me whining, but it's not. If I was whining, I'd be out there doing something about it, not hole myself up like a hermit and try to hide away for years. I've been slowly coming out my shell again, to being comfortable and tell myself it is okay to come out.

Doing my own tarot reading

So last year I received some tarot cards from one of my good friends all the way from Australia!

They are The Oracle of Shadows and Light by Lucy Cavendish.

The artwork is pretty, totally me, but I've yet to use them until tonight. So as I got ready for my reading, I put on enigma a posteriori soundtrack. I love that one. 

So I shuffled until it felt good and did a spread and put my hand over them until the tingling warmth felt right. I have not done this type of spread in a long while, but it felt right. 

My first card is The Lantern Fairy. She says that a life challenge will present itself, that stubborn thinking can be changed. Old patterns will be removed little by little and to trust myself. That certain energies I have need to be replaced and reworked as some of those energies I no longer wish for and is keeping me isolated now instead of leading me to where I want to go. Go with love, kindness and freedom and avoid and avoid hate, anger, judgment and blame.

So this card speaks to me on a few levels, I am trying to lose weight and my stubborn thinking and patterns that I've put in place are being reworked, as I've been trying to do. As for the last bit, I have been trying to be more positive and fueled by love and avoid negativity alot.

My second card- The sea beacon fairy (another lantern type) it says that a perfect solution to a problem has been presented but whether it is wise for me to take it is another thing.  I have more resources and opportunities than I am aware of or that I am allowing myself to believe in. She tells me to not be too quick to follow the first opportunity and to wait and check all my sources as there are many paths and solutions, not advice will be right for me.

This card makes so much sense to me, I have opportunities but some of them, I tell myself I can't do or I make myself unaware of. One opportunity knocking at my door is to get some help for my weight loss, its a really big step, bigger than I was imagining, I want to take it, but am I taking it cause its the right thing to do for me or am I taking it because I won't get another chance like this again, maybe if I decline this chance, a better opportunity may come of it. I am now even more conflicted.

The third card - The Dried Flower fairy
She says basically to remember the little moments, the moments that made me happy, whether it be a photo, a cloud, a rainbow, a star, or even the knowledge that something I did has made a difference for someone. She tells me to  feel those precious moments again, to draw strength from them, that those little happy times and happy feelings that have no significance, will help me with the will help me do what must be done.

Card 4- Two little witches
They basically tell me to conduct a house clearing, a feng shui, whether it be a little change or a big change to a move, to clear out what I no longer need, to clear my space and that some of it is weighing me down. That's its okay to let go, sometimes positive things can be negative and that's okay.

Card 5- The Three Witchy Sisters
They basically tell me the karma meaning, what happens once will happen again and what goes around comes around. After three times it will be complete and say farewell, they tell me that whatever lesson I had, has been learned. That problems may be not be a problem, just something I don't understand yet and to think clearly and be aware of what is happening around me.

Card 6- The Witch at the End of the World
It says that  something's time has come. That a significant rearrangement of life from personal or global scale may be affected and that I need more harmony in my life. But to not be frightened, as I have to go through the storm to get to the other side. It's part of everyone's journey, the shift brings about more peace where shadows and light are accepted. Sometimes self healing may look like destruction and that's OK, let go of the old, let in the new. All is well.

Wow...these cards seem pretty good. Some of them gave me answers or at least gave me a sense of good feelings, that maybe some of the things I was thinking of, they called me out on. Besides people thinking the worst of tarot cards, they just don't like being called out is all.

I picked out one last bonus card.

Grumpy Red Fairy
She says this "I want to be me and be free without everyone giving me their opinion, I like being different, I won't be changing unless I want to, I don't need to change to fit in, I only need to be true to myself"
So many put restrictions on themselves and get upset at you because you have the freedom of expression to be true to yourself and they don't like that. Let you be you, be true to yourself, whoever you want to be day by day, just don't fake it or be nice cause you think you should be that way, be real, be who you are, be funny, be fierce, be you! Find out who you are  and try different things, that is what life is about, don't waste it being something you aren't.

Wow, just freaking wow. I needed to hear that so much, to know that is my bonus card, I have been trying hard really hard to find out who I am again and accept her instead of hide her away. Life's too damn short.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my reading and I hope that maybe it helped you too.

If you want a reading let me know, I'll post a blog about for you.

When is saying I'm used to it enough?

When does the term "I'm used to it" turn into a numbness, a draining of your physical and mental self?

The numbing has turned you into a different person, things no longer affect you, like part of you was stolen away.

When thinking in the dark, in the quiet, alone, things go dark and you start to wonder if that saying was the start of your health, depression, and anxiety issues. Maybe when you go numb, you decide you really don't care anymore.

When you start to live this way, you tend to pass through time, as if not knowing who or where you are, just existing as much as you can, getting through it.

But when you sit in silence to a song in the night in a room not lit but to the CD player, you start to think, how did I get this way, why did I get this way? How did I let myself get so far gone into the numbness, into the not caring?

How did I lose myself and let my physical body go and my mental state just go completely oblivious to its surroundings?

What happened? And what can I do now?

You start to think of all things, running, hiding, burrowing back in the numbness, and you think of all the hard work it will take to be you again, happy and healthy.

You get tired of sitting alone in the night, even of you aren't alone, you are alone in your thoughts. And to think these is to be lonely.

Letting yourself go to the point where it's easier not to have friends because you don't want to explain yourself for the hundredth time to those who don't understand and for them to let you slip by is a saddening truth that maybe it is easier.

When can we get past the point of that return and can we get past the point of telling ourselves that we can't do it and the hard work is hard work and you have to put on your mudding boots and do all your laundry for once.

Tired of saying I'm used to it with no other thing to say, tired of the numbness, wishing it was a liveliness.

Trying to let go and love living again.

Making homemade oils

So I decided to try some things out. I am attempting to make homemade oils.

I have found alot of honeysuckle growing here in GA! It smells so good, but whenever I find lotions and such, it never smells like honeysuckle. So I am going to see how my experiment pans out.

I have one jelly jar filled with honeysuckle and grape seed oil and olive oil. I have coconut oil, but it's in hard form.

I also made in a larger jar, honeysuckle and mint with olive oil and grape seed oil.

I plan to get lavender and try it with honeysuckle as well.

I didn't clean the flowers for fear it would take the juices away, but I will be straining all of the debris anyways.

I know I have to wait 4-6 weeks, keep it in a warm spot and let the sun shine on it.

So here's hoping I can make my own oils, cause if so I am totally making my own lotions and stuff too!

Also, we tried our hand at the new star wars monopoly game, it was interesting and we thought it would be difficult since it was so different. I was Darth Vader empire red and my husband was Luke Skywalker Jedi council blue. I won the game, lol.

Have you made oil or do you want to and what kind?

Homeschooled

So today I went out with my mom, we enjoyed ourselves, even though my husband, Colin was not feeling well at home.

While we were out, a woman came up to us to sell homemade candles with a wooden wick inside. The jars were re used better homes and gardens. She was just around in the parking lot trying to sell them for $20. We told her we didn't have that, so she said she'd take $10. I asked if it was going to anything special and she mentioned that she is trying to buy supplies for her kids because she is home schooling them. Her and her kids made them together.

I bought one for $10.

I was a home schooled kid, my mom took me out of school after 6th grade. When I have kids, I plan on doing the same. Back then, there wasn't alot of stuff one could do for homeschooling so my mom did what she thought was best. We would often drive 3 hours to the closest Barnes and Nobles and she would look for educational stuff for me, her friend helped me with science and art, my dad tried to help me with math and PE. When we moved to NC in 2003, she attempted to find homeschooling programs for me. She found a few, but each was a bust and the kids were mean.

We traveled alot for business, so I learned how to read maps, she showed me what signs were what, I learned how to handle money, and that when we sold things to shops, I learned business.

On the business trips, my mom would take us to a museum or battle fields or aquariums and such and she would send me in with assignments. What to look for, what to write an essay on, what I learned. I would take notes and later take photos of the experience. 

Our business was that we were in the gem and mineral business, so I learned alot about minerals, we had a quartz crystal mine, so I learned about mine safety and first aid at the age of 11.

When I was also 11, she taught me a few cooking basics, so later on, I was always testing something in the kitchen on my own, however my mom was always near if I had a question. I was doing my own personal home ec class. I learned how to hand sew, even though the sewing machine hates me, and my dad taught me how to take things apart and put them back together. He showed me computers and how to fix them and put new stuff in it as a new harddrive and routine cleaning. He also showed me how to install things on the computer and how to de-bug it and go into the system manually use codes to fix things. I've used this skill ALOT, people come to me to fix their stuff and I get calls on what to do.

I had a garden and attempted to grow my own stuff. I loved herbs the most as they were easiest, peppers were fun, I didn't like tomatoes then, so I didn't try to grow them. Flowers and salad greens hated me. I'm alot better at growing, but salad greens I just can't grow, but I can grow kale!

I had a fish tank and learned about the fish and their habitat, my dad and brother taught me how to clean it out, about water PH and such.

Later, my mom's friend who taught me art opened a coffee shop and I learned new system computers, how to balance things and money, she even helped teach me how to drive.

I learned horse back riding and my dad was also a jeweler would show me how facet and cut stones.

To many I seemed like I did nothing, I slept in, sometimes because at night my dad and I were outside and he was showing me the stars, what they were, and such, and we would go fishing and he would also teach me about bugs and animals and the woods. I wasn't much for hiking and he thought it would be cool to stay hidden while I felt lost for 2 hours. He said he never left me though, he wanted to see if I could do anything he had taught me. I got home and then cried to mom how he left me, even though he was right behind me.

My mom's friend also taught me how to make candles, as well, as much as this woman selling candles.

Later when I got my first real job, many told me to get on food stamps, my mom at first was against it, I only had that job few a months, but she wanted me to learn how much food costs were and how much my clothes were and things I wanted, so when I would run out of a paycheck, she would give me values and learn to send things on what I need and not what I want, but to also learn to put away some rainy day money to get something special for myself.

I later got my GED, learned everything about math I could learn, I finished the first 4 tests with a breeze, but math had me stay for almost two years, because I wanted to catch up on everything I hated and learn more. I later grew to love it and do math at home for fun.

So when this woman said home schooling, I was automatically for it. Luckily her kids and many others today have access to the internet and can learn so much more. But supplies and trips to museums and such still cost stuff that sometimes we can't afford.

And so many kids these days aren't being taught values and real things. One of her reasoning's was also because they took God out of schools, well okay, you are in your religious right to do that.

I'm not religious, many of the kids I met when I went to school or at home school programs, they were very religious and some kids threw stones at me, literally, I once said oh my god and one of the programs kicked me out and deemed me a defiler or a witch.  My dad is Wiccan and my mom is Spiritual even though she was raised a Catholic. I have my own values, each and all religions I treasure. My husband now is a atheist/spiritual/heathen. At the same time I talk about God or the Goddess or mother nature, I'm also talking about Arch Angel Michael, who I feel is always with me or Thor (during storms), I also have been known to talk to the universe, I think if there are that many gods and goddesses, then speaking to the universe is talking to them all. Many identify me as pagan and that's ok. I like their customs and respect and the holidays. I think learning about all the diverse religions we have is a great thing to learn, I think it teaches us respect for all, and does not make one judgmental. But so many don't think the way I do, or do they? I guess I haven't found them yet.

Anyways, do you home school and what do you do think? Were you home schooled? I wish I had alot of materials back then that we have today.  Do you think the same? Do you think its too early to introduce religion to children? I think we need to start teaching kids today what is important because alot of schools are taking that away.

While going over this post for an edits, I find that homeschooling was my favorite time and memories, I got to spend it with my family and I learned so much. I may not have had much luck with friends, and hopefully my kids in the future will have more openings in the area due to more people homeschooling.

Living in a Toxic Town

I just read a facebook post that I shared 4 years ago.

It says "I think the only reason why people hold on so tight to memories for so long because they are the only thing that doesn't change even when the person does."

At the time 4 years ago, I just stated that ok, basically whatever.

Now I write "I  know many have this problem.  I know I did and I sometimes the memories made me so depressed that I hated going out. The previous town I was living at had 12 years worth of memories and so many things that I was involved in closed or people fell apart and went their own way, my town was toxic to me, I didn't realize it until before I went to move to GA. I'll go back someday and visit. I'll remember the times that were happy while I'm happy instead of remembering the times that were happy while I was filled with bitterness and wishing I could go back in time to them. Memories are memories and you'll always have them, places, things, and people change, it happens sadly. You have to decide whether you get to move on with the change too or stay behind and feel like you are drowning. You can only drown so long before you go crazy and fall apart or go bitter and let numbness take over. I chose a path where I would be happy, feel change, chip away the ice I had created so I could breathe. I know I'm not alone and neither are you."

So upon looking it over, not only had so much changed within these 4 years, but it made me realize something. 

Everyone always talks about removing that toxic person in your life.

But no ever talks about a toxic town.

Just like a person can drain you physically and mentally, so can a town. It's a sort of depression. So many memories and everything is gone and moved on with out me. I felt left behind. I would alwasy say things like "if that were still here" or "if my family still owned that I could help you" or "if that were still there with the same people I could eat today."

Or the one thought I hated the most "if I had been different and done more to spend time with everything and everyone, I would've. If I had known they would've left and moved on so quick, I would've done more to be present at the time."

For instance. My sister and her family moved to the little town in NC I lived in. Years go by and she starts a restaurant. Where she lives then, I later move out with my husband and live not even a 1/4 mile away from her old location and closed restaurant before she back to Florida. I could see all the memories that would've taken place, how I would've walked daily to see her or how my nieces and nephews would've shown up at my door. I would've welcomed them with open arms. 

But I never moved out from my mom and her room mate's house. I was sheltered and feared moving out, even though that same year she opened the restaurant, I got married and my husband lived in my room with me since he left his toxic family.

In July of 2015 I moved to Athens, GA. Only now do I actually see how that little town was smothering me, I could no longer see the beauty, I could no longer appreciate anything. That little town was right dab smack in middle of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and it may have been small, but I was so fearful that I hated that I did not enjoy it more. People asked me up there "how do you just live here all the time-you are so lucky to see all this everyday". But to me that was torture. making new friends, being someone who I wasn't was torture.

Upon moving away, knowing I would move, I literally did something I never thought I would do. It started with one person in 2014 and moved on to 2015, I made sure to end friendships, new or old, because I didn't want to be held back and I did not want to hold them back. 

I did not care if if they thought the worst of me.

However the last friend was mine and my husband's best friend. I think that was the hardest, because he was sweet and I knew it would hurt him and he'd go numb and feel nothing. I already had plans we were moving, I had mentioned it in September of 2014, I wasn't staying forever, this was after the first two people had moved away and we stopped talking. Things were getting to be too much and I have anxiety, my panic mode had set in due to a problem in May. I was still swinging by a thread.

One old friend had recently got back in contact with me we went to Elementary school together, she wanted me to belly dance at a class with her. She begged me, she had no one else either. This was after my panic mode set in, so I thought going with her would help me. After the middle of June, I knew I was moving, and it sucked because I do cherish her so much. Today we write snail mail to each other as often as we can.

Looking back now, I do regret things and I know I could've been more attentive and not so ice like. But in my head, I was breaking away to make things easier. I do hope they all forgive me one day. One of them treated me like a mother, another I babysat for, another were my first real friends, another was a landlord turned into a brother, and much more. 

I wonder why I decided near the end to keep in contact with my old friend as easy as it is instead of hurting her too. Why did I not do the same to the others? 

What is wrong with me?

I was so toxic and poisoned, my old friend knew me and had traveled and moved as much as me and had anxiety. I guess I thought she is the most understanding and I've always valued her friendship. She is my sister from another mister in saying.

But why say that just about her? I valued the others too, I was loyal to them. But I guess from anxiety and panic and the toxicity, that I needed to get away, they did not know me, I put on a facade. I was there for them always. I did not know how else to deal with it, my old friend was in my good memories, and in my torture and toxic times, these new friends were in a time that was hellish for me.

I guess I'm rambling now, as it is late. Have any of you ever lived in a toxic town? Do you have a toxic person in your life? Have you done anything about it?

Okay, goodnight ya'll!

 

1st Post

So this is a first post, I am Sammantha, I go by Sam mostly though. Yes I do in fact have two M's in my name.

I am writing my biography, while trying to run an online store on etsy to bring in extra income for my family.

I like to cook, take photos, play video games-Skyrim on Xbox 360 in particular or Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time-Twilight Princess.

I'm married. My husband's name is Colin. He is currently a bike tech at a sporting goods store.

I live in Georgia-USA. So I may go southern or country on ya'll.

I am thinking this blog will go several ways, I've always tried to take a blog a certain way and I end up saying screw it and forget about it.

So on that note, I'm going to write whatever thought is in my head, I may even put pieces of my biography for you to read while I find a publisher or agent interested in my work.

I may talk about my feelings, about a movie I just had seen, what I'm doing for my store, what's for dinner, or just ramble on about a post I saw on facebook and thought I needed to voice something about it.

So, I think that's about it.

I'll blog ya'll later!